


Blame It On The Alcohol (& Ram)

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (ThereCanBeNoRedemptionWithoutBlood)



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Humor, Idk if Charlie can get drunk seeing as he’s not human but let’s just assume he can for the banter, Multi, This Is STUPID, a Doctor Who character makes a cameo as Quill’s ‘friend’, based off a uni experience, literally the worst thing i’ve ever wrote, the author regrets her life choices, whoever cancelled Class can burn in hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereCanBeNoRedemptionWithoutBlood/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Charlie & Matteusz decide to invite their friends over. Ram decides to bring alcohol. The night takes an interesting turn.





	Blame It On The Alcohol (& Ram)

I don’t own anything. I just really love Class. 

 

Blame It On The Alcohol (& Ram)

 

“Can we do something today? It’s a Saturday and to be honest, I’m quite bored.” Charlie announces to his three friends.

“We both are.” Matteusz chimes in from beside him.

“We’ve done everything we could think of doing.”

“Stop there please. I don’t want to know.” Tanya holds up a hand to the computer screen.

“Can we all meet or something? You could come here.” Charlie suggests.

“Quill’s not gonna like that.” Ram mutters, being careful not to wake April, who is having an afternoon nap beside him.

“I don’t think she’s in. Neither Matteusz and I haven’t heard her in the flat. He thinks she went out this morning whilst we were sleeping.” Charlie explains to them.

“Yes I thought I heard the door earlier. She was probably leaving.” Matteusz nods.

“Are you alright with that and all? Quill wandering the streets?” 

“I doubt she’d do anything.” Charlie shrugs.

“Yeah, Ram, give her more credit. She’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? What are you smoking?” Ram exclaims, causing April to stir a little and murmur something inaudible to the others.

“Shh. It’s alright. I’m sorry.” Ram whispers soothingly to her, stroking a hand over her hair.

“Go back to sleep, sweetie.”

“Awww.” Tanya, Matteusz and Charlie chorus simultaneously, grins stretching across each of their faces.

“If you wake her up...” Ram growls quietly at them. 

“Says the guy who just woke her up.” Tanya gives him a look.

“Oi, smartarse.” Ram scolds her lightly.

“Seriously though, would you three like to come here? You can stay as long as you like.”

“As long as my mother lets me you mean. If she even lets me leave.” Tanya cuts Charlie off.

“You’re studying. Tell her that you’re studying.” Matteusz offers up a choice for her.

“Studying? Oh I’d rather not, Matteusz. I was thinking perhaps a board game or those video games?” Charlie frowns innocently.

“Studying can be her excuse for joining us.” Matteusz explains gently to Charlie, kissing his forehead lovingly.

“I promise I will endeavour to improve on learning these useful ways.” Charlie smiles, snuggling in closer to Matteusz’s side.

“You’ve got a long way to go yet, mate.” Ram retorts with a roll of his eyes.

“He’s trying. He’s learning but he is not a Jedi yet.” Tanya jokes.

“I know that one. It’s from a film isn’t it? Tv show? Film and tv show? Reboot? Uhh. Is it on my list?” Charlie tries to conjure up the reference in his mind.

“It’s Star Wars and yes, it’s on your list. You’ve got six of them to watch.” Tanya reminds him.

“I thought there was two more. Four if you count the prequels?” Matteusz frowns.

“We don’t speak of them ones.” Tanya warns him.

“Remind me again why I’m friends with you nerds?” Ram sighs.

“Because you love us nerds and you know it.” Tanya says at the same time Charlie says.

“April makes you.”

“What time should we meet?” Tanya returns to the main focus of their conversation. 

“Well, seeing as April is currently asleep. How about six o’clock?” Charlie offers up a time.

“Fine by me.” 

“Sound.” Both Tanya and Ram nod.

“Brilliant. Six o’clock at our flat. We will see you then.” Charlie beams before ending the chat.

“That gives us about...” Charlie lifts his head to take a glance at the clock.

“Two hours. Do you think it will take two hours to get this place looking presentable?” 

“An hour maybe.” Matteusz guesses.

“Then how should we use the rest of our waiting time?”

“Wisely.” Matteusz smiles.

“Yes, but should we...” Matteusz cuts his boyfriend off with a long, lingering kiss.

“That.” Charlie nods when they break the kiss.

“We should do that.”

“Definitely.” Matteusz grins against his boyfriends lips as the two retreat under the soft fabric of the duvet, thinking that maybe they can spare at least half an hour here.

Maybe even more.

 

April & Ram arrives at Charlie and Matteusz’s place at six pm sharp.

April eternally the best at making sure the two are on time.

“Oh it’s great that you’re here. This is going to be fun.” Charlie beams at them both upon opening the door.

“It will be, believe me.” Ram shakes his large carrier bag at Charlie, who hears the distinctive sound of bottles rattling inside.

“I told him not to bring that much alcohol. That we won’t need it.” April sighs with a look that shows she did exactly that to Charlie.

“There can never be too much alcohol.” Matteusz calls, his face lighting up at the prospect as he practically slides across the floor to reach the door.

“Well, technically...”

“Ahh come on, get yourself a drink. I’ve brought pretty much everything we’re gonna need. We’ve got vodka, whisky, sours and wkd for Tanya because she’s not drinking half of this stuff.” Ram takes a look inside the bag to remember what he’s brought.

“Unfair.” Tanya calls from the doorway having just arrived, knocking on the open door anyway.

“Come on, come in.” Charlie beckons her in.

“Can’t I just have a little bit of the other drinks?”

“No way.” Ram, April, Charlie and Matteusz speak adamantly.

“Totally unfair.”

“Which is why I brought you the wkd’s.” Ram shakes a brightly coloured bottle in Tanya’s face.

“Wasn’t going to leave you out, even if you are fourteen. I drank this stuff when I was your age all the time.”

“All the time?” April gives him a look.

“Yeah, when I was out with the lads.”

April and Tanya exchange looks that read ‘how do we put up with him.’

“Let’s open one of these bottles.” Matteusz decides to call, taking the bag from Ram.

“For tonight we drink!”

 

It’s not even a full hour of drinking before it becomes painfully obvious to Tanya, Matteusz and Ram that Charlie Smith and April McLean do not have a high tolerance for alcohol in the slightest.

“Guyyyysss why haven’t we done this before?!?? Why have I never done this before?” Charlie shouts after downing his umpteenth shot of vodka.

“Because you’re not normal.” Ram shakes his head at his drunk friend.

“I’m not normal. I like not being normal it’s great!” Charlie cheers, deciding to stand on the coffee table.

“Maybe you should drink some water.” Matteusz slides an arm around his boyfriends waist to keep him from falling when it appears he may slip.

“I might be losing my mind but I don’t think there’s water here.” Charlie thinks he whispers but actually yells.

“I will get you some water.” Says a lot more sober Matteusz.

“Nooo don’t goooo.” Charlie protests, deciding that the best course of action then is to jump into Matteusz’s arms, wrapping his legs firmly around his waist to keep himself upright, coiling his arms around his boyfriend’s neck.

“Charlie, Charlie!” Matteusz protests.

“It’s like I climbed a tree.” Charlie drunkley announces to Ram, April and Tanya’s howls of laugter.

Tanya whipping out her phone to start taking pictures and videos.

“I’m filming this for home entertainment and for Snapchat.” She murmurs to Ram.

“Ohh my god please do.” Ram practically begs her.

“I’m one of those bears. Those fluffy grey ones. They have a name I know it. I really do.” Charlie continues whilst holding on tightly to Matteusz.

“Koala! That’s it’s I’m a koala hanging off a tree. Yay!” Charlie beams happily.

“Make me another?” April begins to batt her eyelashes at Ram, holding out her empty cup whilst swaying from side to side on a chair.

“I think that’s enough for you.” Ram gently tells his girlfriend.”

“But it was only fruit juice!” April whines.

“In that case, can you mix me one Ram?” Tanya chuckles.

“No way.” Ram glares at her.

Yes he’d used apple and black current juice to mix the drink but there had been whiskey and April’s favourite raspberry vodka in that tall glass too.

“Fine, fineeee.” April sighs, lurching forward and grabbing a hold of the bottle of raspberry vodka and deciding to just drink it straight.

“April!” Ram reaches for it, despite also being quite impressed with how his girlfriend just drank it straight without reacting in anyway.”

“Yes my love? My favourite man in the whole wide universe? You’re the best boyfriend ever.” April leans across his lap as Ram manages to take the bottle back.

Ram chuckles a little and rests a hand on her back.

“He’s great. I love him. So strong and so handsome. Literally the most gorgeous man...”

“On the other hand, I might mix her another drink.” Ram jokes, enjoying the complements he is getting from his girlfriend.

“And Tanya...” April crawls across Ram’s lap to reach her. Tanya, still recording her friends on her phone.

“He’s got the biggest...”

“APRIL!” Ram tugs her back, placing a hand gently over her mouth to silence her whilst tugging her into his arms.

“I didn’t need to hear that. I didn’t need to know that. Ohh my god, please give me alcohol to make me forget that.” Tanya practically yells with wide eyes, a horrified expression upon her face.

“I know. I know!” Charlie leaps down from Matteusz’s arms.

“Careful...” Matteusz begs his out of control boyfriend.

“Let’s play a drinking game.”

 

Matteusz and Ram scowl at Tanya, who’d helped out vote the two when it came to the five of them voting on whether or not to play a drinking game.

“You two need to drink moreee!” April had protested to Ram and Matteusz.

But even though she’d only got her wkd’s Tanya still wanted to play the game, just to see how far Charlie and April go when they’re drunk.

They are currently playing ring of fire and are on the questions aspect of it.

Unfortunately, the questions that had got asked were about sex positions.

It had surprised both Ram, Tanya and April when Charlie had yelled out quite a normal one.

“I thought it was gonna be alien.” April whisper-yells to Ram.

“To be honest, as did I.”

April said something much dirtier than all of them.

“This was a bad idea a BAD idea. The less I know about your hetro sex life the better.” Tanya gestures over at April and Ram, who has face palmed the floor after April had spoken.

“The three of us aren’t like that.” Charlie also speaks a lot louder than intended.

“Amen to that.” Tanya raises her bottle in the air.

 

Upon the drinking games conclusion, April and Charlie had decided to start karaoke.

Which had basically turned into April practically giving a both amused, bewildered and slightly aroused Ram a drunken half lap dance.

Whilst Charlie had stripped off most of his clothes and started to scream out the lyrics to a song he’d learnt called ‘Heat Of The Moment’.

Whilst he also swings dangerously from the lampshade.

Matteusz trying his very best to coax him down.

Tanya still laughing her head off and filming the whole thing as evidence for the next day and forever.

This has been the best Saturday she’s had in a long time.

“I can flyyyy!” Charlie screeches as he continues to swing from the light.

“Charlie!” Matteusz cries, just as Charley swings so forcefully that he rips out the whole overhead light and launches himself across the room.

The entire power to the flat going out at exactly the same time.

“Haha, yeet.” April sniggers from her position on Ram.

“What on earth are you doing?!” The unexpected yell of Quill sounds out from the darkness.

“Oops.” Charlie whispers from the darkness.

“Quick let’s all pretend to be asleep. She won’t know we’re...”

A sudden whirring sound emits from the dark and light is restored to the flat.

Revealing a very irate Quill, wrapped in a dressing gown, her hair sticking up in all angles.

“Ooh. Fancy seeing you here! Charlie lifts his head.

“Stay down for your own sake.” Matteusz begs.

“I don’t even want to ask.” Quill holds up her hands.

“I am very sorry. We thought you went out. I heard the door.” Matteusz continues, trying to keep the peace.

“I’ve been here the whole time. Until that little fiasco I’d been doing quite the good job of ignoring whatever this is.”

“What have you been doing? You can’t do bad stuff anymore not here!” The drunken Charlie tries to crawl along the floor, coming across like a geriatric slug.

“I’ve fixed the lights, Andra’ath, dear...” An unfamiliar voice with a thick Scottish accent fills the air as another woman appears in the corridor, wearing the most low cut green dressing gown the teens have ever seen.

Tanya’s jaw has practically hits the floor.

“Ooh gay panic.” Charlie whispers from the floor.

“Oh my god.” Tanya buries her head in her hands, dropping her phone onto her lap.

“She’s been having alien sex.” April drunkenly yells.

“Alright that’s it. You’ve all got an hours detention on Monday.” 

“You can’t...”

“Hours detention!”

 

After retreating back to bed with her friend after silencing the humans and the Prince, an awake Quill slips back into the main room an hour later after her friend has fallen asleep.

“Can’t even hold their liquor properly.” Quill shakes her head at the sight that greets her.

Charlie lying half naked on the floor hugging the lampshade whilst Matteusz dozes next to him, propped up against the sofa.

April Maclean is sleeping on the coffee table and Ram is lying on the floor beside her whilst Tanya has fallen asleep in the chair she’d been sat in.

Spying the phone still on the girls lap, Quill reaches to take it.

Oh yes, she can’t wait to watch the events of tonight.

Could be something for her to hold against the Prince, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is really bad. I am so sorry that I wrote this. I just love Class so much & I hate that it got cancelled. Especially with what happens at the end... Anyway thank you so much for reading, I would love to hear thoughts. Please comment if you can.


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